An open letter for myself
To a
person who is always trying her best to makes her parents proud. To a person
who is always wants to be happy in front of other people. To a person who is
always hiding in mask of happiness and glee. To a person who is tired to
everything.
They always envy this girl for
having a peaceful and perfect life. They say that, that girl is gifted. She has
friends and other things that make a life perfect. She achieved awards that
make her happy. All was perfect but suddenly she remembered there’s no perfect
at all.
There
are times that her parents are fighting. She couldn’t do anything. She always
pretended that it’s okay but deep inside while her parents are fighting outside
she is crying inside the room. Time has passed but her parents are always
fighting. She just cry and cry and again.
And
then here comes the school day, in which she needs to pretend again. She needs
to be strong to survive. And then here we go again, her “so called friends”
around her. She doesn’t know who she would trust. Some of them are just friend
when they need but when they get what they need, they will forget her again.
But even
if her life cycle is like that, she always smiles and forgets then walks
forward again. She is so tired to everything. She is tired to pressures that
she always hears. She is tired to her parents that are always fighting. She is
tired to the “fake friends”. She is tired in pleasing everyone but she always
gets nothing. She is tired for being her.
But she
remembers, she has a mother who is always there when she has problem. She
remembers some of her friends are not bad at all. Her life may not be perfect
at all but at least she has these experiences that will help her to survive.
To the
person who is always overthink and cry at night. To the person who is always
think that she is not enough. To the person who wrote this. Thank you, for
being strong. Thank you, for not giving up. Thank you for being you. I’m so proud of you.
-Jesica Villanueva 2017
